August 30. 2009.

acid trip: 10:24pm/am
this trip is like falling endlessly through the clouds and being caught, perhaps in a net. gently, but nonetheless, a shock to the system.

today has been really emotional.all day i felt like someone was missing and i couldn't wrap my head around it. i was waiting for them to come home. i didn't feel complete. then i realized that the people i needed most were the ones farthest away. brandon texted me and the knowledge that he was somewhere else in the world, missing me, was the most heartbreaking thing i could know and i couldn't handle it. i sobbed. the feelings of acceptance and rejection are so fucking intense when you're on acid. i'm glad i did it in this environment, to see what it's like, but i don't think i would do it this way again. i think i need to be at a show or around live music. definitely. and not trying not to think about something. i have class in 4.5 hours and i smell like beer. i felt reasonable though. sometimes i felt like when we didn't have an anchor person it was okay because i got reasonable. i wish we could have been at the park. i think i'll go to the park tomorrow.