I was being chased by this gigantic, twenty foot tall black dog. I was driving a black jeep, trying to escape, it was accelerating at a completely impossible rate, moving so fast.
Brandon was in my dream, he was upset with me for an unexplained reason. He wasn't a zombie, I don't think I was either, but we were on an extremely high tech vessel swarmed with walking dead. I can't place whether we were in the air or on the sea. Either way we were essentially trapped. There was one other man on the ship/zeppelin who wasn't a zombie and I was trying to protect him. There was a huge plate of hot dogs and I was trying to make the zombies eat those instead of attacking him. One dead woman got into the room where he was, I was panicked. She didn't kill him, I spoke to her. She said that he told her he was carrying secrets that belonged to her sister and they were very important. If she infected him, everyone would know.
Monday, March 22, 2010
March 8. 2010.
Eric was in my dream. He picked me up in his van and we were driving down a dark dark gravel road.
I was kind of snuggled into his shoulder and thinking about how weird it was that we were together again. Hoping that things wouldn't be strange between us and that it was nice to forgive and be able to take comfort from this person that had been such a dick. Then he kind of leaned back and started slowly unhooking his belt and I realized that nothing had changed, he was still a total asshole and all he wanted was sex. I don't remember the sequence after that, but suddenly I was on the side of the road and Eric was driving away in the van, it was dark. I was in the middle of nowhere. I think he told me that he would come back for me, but I knew he wouldn't. I saw car lights coming down the road. Something told me that they were dangerous and not to be trusted. I threw myself into the thick, prickly bushes that lined the gravel road side. I burrowed back as far as I could hoping that I would be out of sight. The lights stopped in front of my hideout. I tried to stop breathing and held entirely still. Footsteps moved around the side of the van. Three young black men emerged from the darkness. They were obviously looking for something. Suddenly I became aware of two other people, also hidden in the bushes. The men drew guns and fired 3 shots. The two people fell, slumped over into the brush. The third shot hit the ground at my feet and I held back a scream. The shooters lingered for a moment and ran back to their vehicle and sped away. I was absolutely terrified and didn't know what to do. More lights approached, but this time from a different direction. A van full of homeless people, all dressed oddly stopped just a few feet away and beckoned for me to come over. I got up, feeling somehow secure that they wouldn't hurt me. They told me that they were on their way to Tennessee to go antiquing. They asked me to come along. There were so many strange characters in the van, it reminded me of the film MicMacs, the one I saw with Chris. Somehow in my dream, a second van full of equally eccentric people was asking me along on their trip as well. Except I think they were going to thrift stores in Alabama. While I was deciding who to go along with, and trying to figure out how to do both, Jaime texted me and it woke me up. What a weird dream.
While we were in Prague I had a dream that I was arguing with a man in Czech. I dreamed that I was Czech and could speak the language, I've never been able to speak another language in a dream before.
I was kind of snuggled into his shoulder and thinking about how weird it was that we were together again. Hoping that things wouldn't be strange between us and that it was nice to forgive and be able to take comfort from this person that had been such a dick. Then he kind of leaned back and started slowly unhooking his belt and I realized that nothing had changed, he was still a total asshole and all he wanted was sex. I don't remember the sequence after that, but suddenly I was on the side of the road and Eric was driving away in the van, it was dark. I was in the middle of nowhere. I think he told me that he would come back for me, but I knew he wouldn't. I saw car lights coming down the road. Something told me that they were dangerous and not to be trusted. I threw myself into the thick, prickly bushes that lined the gravel road side. I burrowed back as far as I could hoping that I would be out of sight. The lights stopped in front of my hideout. I tried to stop breathing and held entirely still. Footsteps moved around the side of the van. Three young black men emerged from the darkness. They were obviously looking for something. Suddenly I became aware of two other people, also hidden in the bushes. The men drew guns and fired 3 shots. The two people fell, slumped over into the brush. The third shot hit the ground at my feet and I held back a scream. The shooters lingered for a moment and ran back to their vehicle and sped away. I was absolutely terrified and didn't know what to do. More lights approached, but this time from a different direction. A van full of homeless people, all dressed oddly stopped just a few feet away and beckoned for me to come over. I got up, feeling somehow secure that they wouldn't hurt me. They told me that they were on their way to Tennessee to go antiquing. They asked me to come along. There were so many strange characters in the van, it reminded me of the film MicMacs, the one I saw with Chris. Somehow in my dream, a second van full of equally eccentric people was asking me along on their trip as well. Except I think they were going to thrift stores in Alabama. While I was deciding who to go along with, and trying to figure out how to do both, Jaime texted me and it woke me up. What a weird dream.
While we were in Prague I had a dream that I was arguing with a man in Czech. I dreamed that I was Czech and could speak the language, I've never been able to speak another language in a dream before.
February 25. 2010.
Dreamed about a lynx for the second time since I've been in Scotland. I could speak to them. I was in Charlottesville with two flat tires on my bike, but trying to ride it anyways. It was as if I didn't realize what the problem was. Graham came and helped me. He took me to a house where a party was going on. Brandon was there, but he was angry with me for being with someone else. My mom and dad told me they were splitting up.
February 9. 2010.
It started in these elevators, I was trying to get to a specific floor. I think I was spending the night in the hotel with a few other people. Someone rang the doorbell. It was one of my flatmates, they said I got a package. It was full of chocolate bars from my mom.
my dream changed then. Something was happening. I was in Richmond, but people were fleeing, we were being summoned to this weird competition. Rebecca was a part of it and so many people from Richmond were there. Suddenly, I had a mountain bike.
Flash forward to Molly and my brother skyping my parents and I from Turkey. Molly was there was school, my brother on a dig. Molly was telling us that she had been going to dangerous places and that there was a cocaine problem in Turkey and she was worried about my brother.
Flash forward, so many young children. Rebecca was asking them questions as they waited in line for a huge, steep water slide. Rebecca was wearing a black lace onesie with footies. I watched as she slid down the slide, toes pointed, as if demonstrating to the children. Two young brothers followed suit.
What was happening in Richmond? Why was the world ending?
my dream changed then. Something was happening. I was in Richmond, but people were fleeing, we were being summoned to this weird competition. Rebecca was a part of it and so many people from Richmond were there. Suddenly, I had a mountain bike.
Flash forward to Molly and my brother skyping my parents and I from Turkey. Molly was there was school, my brother on a dig. Molly was telling us that she had been going to dangerous places and that there was a cocaine problem in Turkey and she was worried about my brother.
Flash forward, so many young children. Rebecca was asking them questions as they waited in line for a huge, steep water slide. Rebecca was wearing a black lace onesie with footies. I watched as she slid down the slide, toes pointed, as if demonstrating to the children. Two young brothers followed suit.
What was happening in Richmond? Why was the world ending?
February 8. 2010.
I had the most amazing dream last night. It was pure, unadulterated fantasy. I haven't had many dreams since I've been in Scotland and it's worrisome. I think it's because I've been drinking so much. But this dream, this could have been one of my best dreams ever. It played out like a fantastic fairy tale or fantasy novel. I can hardly remember any of it. I remember elephants walking, I was watching their skin and the way it moves while they walk. I think I was watching from above, in a hot air balloon.
January 20. 2010.
Since I've been in Edinburgh, my dreams have been disturbing, strange, and impossible to remember. They slip out of my head like fog over ice.
January 4. 2010. Chicago.
I can't precisely remember how it began, but I was going to prom with some girlfriends and we were going with guys who were 2 years older than us. They were Lewis's age...and Lewis's friends actually. We were excited to be going out with them, since they were older. There was a big storm. Monsoon, and tidal wave type storm. I don't know how this was possible in Blacksburg, but it happened. Someone's mother had built a huge ship for prom to take place in, because she knew about the storm coming. The ship filled with choppy, fast moving black water. Everyone was frantic. Somehow we got out of the ship and made it back to my parents house. I was with Shannon and Dominique. They had brought some younger guys with us back to the house and were leaving again to go and buy beer for them so that they would stay and hang out with us. I felt indifferent to the younger guys and suddenly I was with a baby. He was blonde and had blue eyes and was probably a year old or so. I think he was my baby. My dream mom was suddenly at the house with me and the baby, the boys had left and so had Shannon and Dominique.
This is the weirdest part of the dream and it makes me pretty uncomfortable, Dream mom and I started making out in the kitchen. The baby was on the floor watching and began to cry. So we scooped the baby up and went upstairs to my room. I realized at that moment how weird it was for me and my mom to be making out. I got creeped out and woke up.
But I went back to sleep and kept dreaming and somehow I ended up in a studio with Tom Condon and another photo student. Maybe it was Mark Walthauser? Well, Tom started showing me his most recent work and it was so different than what he'd been doing in the past. He had made these plastic and rubber covers for things...one went over a toilet....It all made more sense while i was dreaming it, but now that I'm awake I can't put the pieces together....He had a lot of imagery with unicorns and people with horns which i remember loving and i told him about the Unicorn Manor. I told Tom that i was back in Richmond for one final exam, but when he asked, I couldn't remember where I spent the night or how i had gotten there. My favorite image he showed me was a drawing with 5 or 6 women in Roman looking robes flaunting pbr and other stuff, with unicorn horns and they replaced the figures of mt. rushmore. and then in the left corner there was a unicorn man fighting a centaur. In my dream, it was awesome.
This is the weirdest part of the dream and it makes me pretty uncomfortable, Dream mom and I started making out in the kitchen. The baby was on the floor watching and began to cry. So we scooped the baby up and went upstairs to my room. I realized at that moment how weird it was for me and my mom to be making out. I got creeped out and woke up.
But I went back to sleep and kept dreaming and somehow I ended up in a studio with Tom Condon and another photo student. Maybe it was Mark Walthauser? Well, Tom started showing me his most recent work and it was so different than what he'd been doing in the past. He had made these plastic and rubber covers for things...one went over a toilet....It all made more sense while i was dreaming it, but now that I'm awake I can't put the pieces together....He had a lot of imagery with unicorns and people with horns which i remember loving and i told him about the Unicorn Manor. I told Tom that i was back in Richmond for one final exam, but when he asked, I couldn't remember where I spent the night or how i had gotten there. My favorite image he showed me was a drawing with 5 or 6 women in Roman looking robes flaunting pbr and other stuff, with unicorn horns and they replaced the figures of mt. rushmore. and then in the left corner there was a unicorn man fighting a centaur. In my dream, it was awesome.
December 7. 2009.
I lived a world of darkness. I was running across these plains/hills that were lit only around the edges. We were running towards a city scape, but we were more than running, we were gliding, moving so fast. The cityscape was lit only around the edges too, the rest of the world was dark. We were gliding to fight the evils in the city who kept the light out. We were setting up on the top of a building, I transformed my body into an all black eagle and glided down to scout the area.
Something happened underwater too.
Something happened underwater too.
December 3. 2009.
I was with Molly and we were being chased by these two really young kids. One of them had a gun. We were running through all of these tiny houses in the projects. They were practically miniatures. The houses were all really bright colors though, with picket fences. We were finally cornered after a chase across the entire neighborhood. The boys were shouting at us and we ducked under a fence and lost them for a moment, but then bam! they were back. The kid with the gun held it out and aimed it at us. He squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit me and the boys ran away. I stood, stunned, and realized that I needed to get to a hospital. Suddenly, I was in the strangest suburb, everything was uphill and too bright and green. My leg was bleeding badly. I made my way up a hill and there was a house beside me that was having a party. People I knew were outside. They watched me walk by slowly. I saw in the distance a shabby hospital. Standing on a fire escape outside the building was my dad. He beckoned for me to hurry. He was going to take care of me.
October 28. 2009. Nightmare.
Molly and I were in a small airport about to get on our plane, we were heading to Boston. We were called to board and we got onto the small plane. Molly and I were seated next to two small girls. I suddenly realized that I'd left my coat in the waiting area and I asked the flight attendant if I had time to go and get it. She said I could go if I hurried and I ran off the plane. In the boarding area I found a laundry basket of my stuff, full of things that I would need on my trip. I grabbed a handful of cards, which was my credit card and I.D. and Molly's too. I realized I wouldn't be able to take everything and panicked because I didn't know what to do. The attendant told me I had to hurry the plane was leaving so I grabbed up my coat and the important stuff and ran for the door. The plane was literally taking off as I found my seat again. I felt so flustered though. The flight was only about an hour and we landed and it wasn't until then that I realized I'd grabbed someone else's coat. It was real, dark fur and belted to flare out into a skirt. It was an incredible coat, it was just really expensive and it had someone's cell phone in the pocket. I felt extremely guilty for accidentally grabbing it. It was cold so I put the coat on and we started looking for my brother's apartment. Patty had joined us and we went out of the back door of the mall/airport. There was a body on the ground in the snow and we freaked out. It was Molly, but not Molly because Molly was still with us. Somehow we took responsibility for the person's death and we panicked and started running down an open alley. I looked back as we ran and a car was following us.
"Not much farther!" Molly yelled! "We're almost to the highway! We'll be safe there!"
We came to the edge of the road and there was a steady stream of traffic.
"GO! NOW!" Yelled Molly and she darted into the street. She had almost made it all the way across when she tripped, there was a truck barreling down and she tottered on the edge of a concrete median. The truck saw her wobbling and veered sharply out of the way. The truck flew off the road and into the air, it crashed through a chain link fence and into a ditch. We all paused in horror and Patty and I raced across the road to join Molly. A young cop had seen the accident and he rushed over as well. I was terrified that they were going to know about the stolen coat and the body, but somehow he let us go.
We finally made it to my brother's house and so many people were there. JenJen was there and Ben Lambert and Chris, the guy Erin has been hanging out with. The three of us went into a room that looked just like my room and we were going to take a nap. But Ben started touching me and I told him to stop but he wouldn't and all of a sudden his fingers were inside me and I said STOP IT BEN and Chris was laughing and it was all happening so fast that I couldn't stop it or control it or pull away from him. His fingers ejaculated inside of me and suddenly I was so angry and upset and I started yelling at him, I said "BEN, how DARE YOU! I'm not taking birth control and you just came inside of me" I was so upset and hurt and I felt so terrible, because I couldn't control it, but the thought of being with him was so repulsive and even in my dream the only person I wanted was Brandon. I stormed out of the room and the hallway was full of people. My sister, Patty, Molly were there, others too, but I can't remember their faces. I tried to pull it together in front of them, and I was having trouble so I ran to the bathroom to get a grip. I looked in the mirror and tried to smile at myself to lighten my mood. Only, something was strange about my teeth. My four front teeth looked lower, my gums had sunken in and my teeth had dropped down. I started panicking again. I ran across the hall to my brother's room and almost screaming said "Ben! do you notice anything wrong with my teeth?!" He looked at me and smiled and said, "No, Amy, your teeth look fine." I felt in my mouth with my fingers and pushed at my teeth, I could feel them click back up into place. The panic set in again as my front tooth fell out into my hand. BEN LOOK! I shrieked! He playfully tried to knock the tooth out of my hand and I flipped out. I ran out of the room, feeling another one of my teeth fall out into my mouth as I left. I couldn't bear to show anyone what was going on so I put my hand over my mouth and ran. Kelsey stopped me and I showed her my mouth and she said "whoa, that' s going to take a long time to fix." "I know, Kels!" I said.
"But, I've never been to Boston before," She whined. "Goddamnit! you don't have to come then!" I shouted at her and ran out the door which led back into the mall where my plane had landed. I was frantically running around the mall looking for a dentist when a man in a white lab coat walked past me. I tried to speak to him but he couldn't understand what I was saying because of the holes in my mouth. I tried to show him my teeth, but got quiet when a group of dressed up boys and girls walked past me in formal attire. The girl who seemed to be leading was wearing a beautiful floor length pale pink dress with shimmery bits on it and her hair was curly. As she was walking she pulled up the hem to show her shoes off to her friends, "see?" she said, angling her foot to her adoring friends, "they even glow in the dark." The shoe was intricate and beautiful with a heel, high enough to be sexy, but low enough to be practical, a slightly darker pink than the dress but with accents that matched. I watched in silence and despair as they passed. Then my alarm clock woke me up.
"Not much farther!" Molly yelled! "We're almost to the highway! We'll be safe there!"
We came to the edge of the road and there was a steady stream of traffic.
"GO! NOW!" Yelled Molly and she darted into the street. She had almost made it all the way across when she tripped, there was a truck barreling down and she tottered on the edge of a concrete median. The truck saw her wobbling and veered sharply out of the way. The truck flew off the road and into the air, it crashed through a chain link fence and into a ditch. We all paused in horror and Patty and I raced across the road to join Molly. A young cop had seen the accident and he rushed over as well. I was terrified that they were going to know about the stolen coat and the body, but somehow he let us go.
We finally made it to my brother's house and so many people were there. JenJen was there and Ben Lambert and Chris, the guy Erin has been hanging out with. The three of us went into a room that looked just like my room and we were going to take a nap. But Ben started touching me and I told him to stop but he wouldn't and all of a sudden his fingers were inside me and I said STOP IT BEN and Chris was laughing and it was all happening so fast that I couldn't stop it or control it or pull away from him. His fingers ejaculated inside of me and suddenly I was so angry and upset and I started yelling at him, I said "BEN, how DARE YOU! I'm not taking birth control and you just came inside of me" I was so upset and hurt and I felt so terrible, because I couldn't control it, but the thought of being with him was so repulsive and even in my dream the only person I wanted was Brandon. I stormed out of the room and the hallway was full of people. My sister, Patty, Molly were there, others too, but I can't remember their faces. I tried to pull it together in front of them, and I was having trouble so I ran to the bathroom to get a grip. I looked in the mirror and tried to smile at myself to lighten my mood. Only, something was strange about my teeth. My four front teeth looked lower, my gums had sunken in and my teeth had dropped down. I started panicking again. I ran across the hall to my brother's room and almost screaming said "Ben! do you notice anything wrong with my teeth?!" He looked at me and smiled and said, "No, Amy, your teeth look fine." I felt in my mouth with my fingers and pushed at my teeth, I could feel them click back up into place. The panic set in again as my front tooth fell out into my hand. BEN LOOK! I shrieked! He playfully tried to knock the tooth out of my hand and I flipped out. I ran out of the room, feeling another one of my teeth fall out into my mouth as I left. I couldn't bear to show anyone what was going on so I put my hand over my mouth and ran. Kelsey stopped me and I showed her my mouth and she said "whoa, that' s going to take a long time to fix." "I know, Kels!" I said.
"But, I've never been to Boston before," She whined. "Goddamnit! you don't have to come then!" I shouted at her and ran out the door which led back into the mall where my plane had landed. I was frantically running around the mall looking for a dentist when a man in a white lab coat walked past me. I tried to speak to him but he couldn't understand what I was saying because of the holes in my mouth. I tried to show him my teeth, but got quiet when a group of dressed up boys and girls walked past me in formal attire. The girl who seemed to be leading was wearing a beautiful floor length pale pink dress with shimmery bits on it and her hair was curly. As she was walking she pulled up the hem to show her shoes off to her friends, "see?" she said, angling her foot to her adoring friends, "they even glow in the dark." The shoe was intricate and beautiful with a heel, high enough to be sexy, but low enough to be practical, a slightly darker pink than the dress but with accents that matched. I watched in silence and despair as they passed. Then my alarm clock woke me up.
October 24.2009.
I was in Chicago with Krista, Brandon, Ness, Jhuz and Chandler and Patty and we were going to a latino baby's baptism. We didn't know anyone very well...Chandler and Ness started whispering during the ceremony and the babys mom overheard and asked them what they could be talking about in the middle of her babys baptism. I wasn't sitting with them for some reason, so I was a spectator. Chandler and Ness tried to play it down for a second, but eventually admitted to wanting to get tattoos of the baby in it's baptism outfit. The mom was flattered that they wanted tattoos of her baby and wasn't angry with them anymore. They carried on with the baptism.
October 15. 2009.
My dream started with me, Molly and Patty and we were all hanging out somewhere when we decided to go on a bike ride. The weird part was that I was naked. I just didn't feel like putting on clothes so we went riding and I was naked. I feel like we had a destination to get to, but not an important one. Molly got a phone call from her dad and he asked the three of us to come over becuase he had a naturalist convention to go to and he'd forgotten to ice all of the cupcakes. There were literally hundreds of cupcakes. We got there and started icing the yellow cupcakes with chocolate icing. I was still naked and only just starting to feel uncomfortable, but I was with my best friends so it was still okay. Molly's dad asked us to ice the cupcakes not only on the tops, but all the way around so that they would resemble mushrooms. And then he asked us to try and ice mustaches on them. I misunderstood and gave myself an icing mustache. Liza's boyfriend, Ben, was there and he was helping too. We iced to many cupcakes. I think I was starting to get cold and I asked Molly for some clothes, she was distracted though, so nothing happened right away. Next time I turned around from icing, Sean McGhee and a friend of his had come over. I was really embarrassed all of a sudden and just wanted to be dressed. I didn't know what to do, because I couldn't ride home naked to get clothes, but Molly's wouldn't really fit me.
Bizarre. I'm glad I'm dreaming again though. no weed?
Bizarre. I'm glad I'm dreaming again though. no weed?
October 14. 2009.
I dreamed that Patty asked my mom to cut her hair, and mom tried really hard but kind of messed it up. Patty got really mad and chased my mom around trying to hurt her. I hid my mom in this secret room and locked her in. I can't remember what else happened.
September 14. 2009.
I was trying to ride my road bike over this inflatable slide. I couldn't do it, but I felt so much pressure to succeed. The slide was so tall, and my wheels were sinking into the material. H was there, but he was a punk and had gauged ears and shit. Wtf.
September 3. 2009.
Ben and Abby were in my dreams last night. I was babysitting Abby, she was really little. She got something in her eye, it flew out, but Ben didn't noticed and he poked a hole in her eye looking for it. She cried for a second and then stopped. There was something wrong with Abby and I wasn't supposed to let her do things. She wouldn't sit still.
A transition occurred and suddenly, Gandalf was there teaching me, or maybe I was observing, he was teaching someone how to fight with a scythe. They had to use the scythe to fight the Balrog. It was intense because it was somebody who had never fought before. I was worried, but Gandalf said that "because the need was there, the skill would come." He pulled a looking crystal out of his robe to show the fighter/defender their opponent and there was this blinding light and through the light the Balrog's face was visible, all flaming and horrible. The light in my mind in my dream was so bright that it woke me up.
A transition occurred and suddenly, Gandalf was there teaching me, or maybe I was observing, he was teaching someone how to fight with a scythe. They had to use the scythe to fight the Balrog. It was intense because it was somebody who had never fought before. I was worried, but Gandalf said that "because the need was there, the skill would come." He pulled a looking crystal out of his robe to show the fighter/defender their opponent and there was this blinding light and through the light the Balrog's face was visible, all flaming and horrible. The light in my mind in my dream was so bright that it woke me up.
August 29. 2009.
I made a note of this one in my cell phone. The note said "mermaids...real ones, all beautiful and translucent and iridescent. magic balls all palm-sized and glowing."
My house in Richmond was in my dream, but it wasn't in Richmond...or maybe it was, just not in the same place. There was a lot of stuff going on in the house, but it's all foggy in my head now. There were fights going on and we all had magic. Our magic was in the form of these color-changing, glittery, hand-sized balls. About the size of..in between the size of a tennis ball and a golf ball. To fight someone you would throw the magic at the and it would glitter tie-dye their skin and absorb their magic for a few moments. I was with a few people and we were flying through the air with bows and arrows, the ones we used at summer camp. Red, plastic. Crappy. But we were flying and shooting these bows and driving back our enemies. Suddenly we were in a compound kind of like camp, but still in the city and there was this body of water blocked off by a chain link fence. That's where the real mermaids lived. They were so beautiful. They glowed under the water. I can't remember if they were hurting or helping or being hurt, but it was spell binding. H, my camp director from the summer, came down the hill and was angry that were were in the water. I think he was keeping the mermaids locked up. There was this little wild cat near the water. It was ferocious, but it could talk to me. I was protecting it. Then I woke up. It was a really good dream. Beautiful.
My house in Richmond was in my dream, but it wasn't in Richmond...or maybe it was, just not in the same place. There was a lot of stuff going on in the house, but it's all foggy in my head now. There were fights going on and we all had magic. Our magic was in the form of these color-changing, glittery, hand-sized balls. About the size of..in between the size of a tennis ball and a golf ball. To fight someone you would throw the magic at the and it would glitter tie-dye their skin and absorb their magic for a few moments. I was with a few people and we were flying through the air with bows and arrows, the ones we used at summer camp. Red, plastic. Crappy. But we were flying and shooting these bows and driving back our enemies. Suddenly we were in a compound kind of like camp, but still in the city and there was this body of water blocked off by a chain link fence. That's where the real mermaids lived. They were so beautiful. They glowed under the water. I can't remember if they were hurting or helping or being hurt, but it was spell binding. H, my camp director from the summer, came down the hill and was angry that were were in the water. I think he was keeping the mermaids locked up. There was this little wild cat near the water. It was ferocious, but it could talk to me. I was protecting it. Then I woke up. It was a really good dream. Beautiful.
August 30. 2009.
acid trip: 10:24pm/am
this trip is like falling endlessly through the clouds and being caught, perhaps in a net. gently, but nonetheless, a shock to the system.
today has been really emotional.all day i felt like someone was missing and i couldn't wrap my head around it. i was waiting for them to come home. i didn't feel complete. then i realized that the people i needed most were the ones farthest away. brandon texted me and the knowledge that he was somewhere else in the world, missing me, was the most heartbreaking thing i could know and i couldn't handle it. i sobbed. the feelings of acceptance and rejection are so fucking intense when you're on acid. i'm glad i did it in this environment, to see what it's like, but i don't think i would do it this way again. i think i need to be at a show or around live music. definitely. and not trying not to think about something. i have class in 4.5 hours and i smell like beer. i felt reasonable though. sometimes i felt like when we didn't have an anchor person it was okay because i got reasonable. i wish we could have been at the park. i think i'll go to the park tomorrow.
this trip is like falling endlessly through the clouds and being caught, perhaps in a net. gently, but nonetheless, a shock to the system.
today has been really emotional.all day i felt like someone was missing and i couldn't wrap my head around it. i was waiting for them to come home. i didn't feel complete. then i realized that the people i needed most were the ones farthest away. brandon texted me and the knowledge that he was somewhere else in the world, missing me, was the most heartbreaking thing i could know and i couldn't handle it. i sobbed. the feelings of acceptance and rejection are so fucking intense when you're on acid. i'm glad i did it in this environment, to see what it's like, but i don't think i would do it this way again. i think i need to be at a show or around live music. definitely. and not trying not to think about something. i have class in 4.5 hours and i smell like beer. i felt reasonable though. sometimes i felt like when we didn't have an anchor person it was okay because i got reasonable. i wish we could have been at the park. i think i'll go to the park tomorrow.
May 5. 2008.
Had another truly bizarre dream last night…another dream about having a son actually. I wonder if when I have a baby, I’ll have a son…weird. I’ve had two dreams about sons.
In my dream I had just found out that I was pregnant, but the progression of time was really bizarre so that in about a week I was at Kroger with mom buying food when I ended up laying on the conveyor belt and giving birth. It was so weird. In the beginning of the dream the father was Matty G the punk kid I met the other day, but he didn’t look anything like what he looks like in real life. He looked more like Rob McAdams my studio teacher from Art Foundations. So Marian the girl in my classes now, who’s pregnant, was walking me through preparations for having a baby since I didn’t have any time to plan or anything. I was so worried about school and not being able to do finish school. The weirdest part was that I didn’t even once consider abortion and I’m not sure that it was set up in my dream so that I could because it all happened so fast or I don’t even know. But I remember thinking after the baby was born, I named him Benjamin, and only then wondering about why I didn’t get an abortion.
There was another part of the dream where Brandon Petteway was getting into trouble with the law, and he was about to get off completely by telling lies, but he’d been a total ass to me about getting pregnant and having a kid so I turned his name into the cops. Then there was this montage of me and my baby and his daddy all hanging out and being wonderfully happy and my parents were there and it was great, but the whole time it felt strange. So one day, my parents are out and baby’s daddy and I get into an argument, I don’t remember what it was about, but he took a big knife and sliced up my baby and I was hysterical and so I wrestled the knife away from him and we grappled for a few minutes and I stabbed him in the chest. And somehow I was weirdly calm and I think my sister was there and she waited with me and told me that I would have to tell mom and dad when they got home. I told them and it was so horrible and we were all so sad about the baby dying, but not so much about his daddy. Then I fled to the tropics to start over so that I wouldn’t have to go to jail.
In my dream I had just found out that I was pregnant, but the progression of time was really bizarre so that in about a week I was at Kroger with mom buying food when I ended up laying on the conveyor belt and giving birth. It was so weird. In the beginning of the dream the father was Matty G the punk kid I met the other day, but he didn’t look anything like what he looks like in real life. He looked more like Rob McAdams my studio teacher from Art Foundations. So Marian the girl in my classes now, who’s pregnant, was walking me through preparations for having a baby since I didn’t have any time to plan or anything. I was so worried about school and not being able to do finish school. The weirdest part was that I didn’t even once consider abortion and I’m not sure that it was set up in my dream so that I could because it all happened so fast or I don’t even know. But I remember thinking after the baby was born, I named him Benjamin, and only then wondering about why I didn’t get an abortion.
There was another part of the dream where Brandon Petteway was getting into trouble with the law, and he was about to get off completely by telling lies, but he’d been a total ass to me about getting pregnant and having a kid so I turned his name into the cops. Then there was this montage of me and my baby and his daddy all hanging out and being wonderfully happy and my parents were there and it was great, but the whole time it felt strange. So one day, my parents are out and baby’s daddy and I get into an argument, I don’t remember what it was about, but he took a big knife and sliced up my baby and I was hysterical and so I wrestled the knife away from him and we grappled for a few minutes and I stabbed him in the chest. And somehow I was weirdly calm and I think my sister was there and she waited with me and told me that I would have to tell mom and dad when they got home. I told them and it was so horrible and we were all so sad about the baby dying, but not so much about his daddy. Then I fled to the tropics to start over so that I wouldn’t have to go to jail.
a celebration of the abandonment of the sticky note.
This is my new dream blog. i'm going to try and keep it chronological.
I write most of these accounts as soon as I wake up so that I can try and remember as much as possible. Excuse my wording if it is sometimes a bit weird or redundant or just plain bad.
I write most of these accounts as soon as I wake up so that I can try and remember as much as possible. Excuse my wording if it is sometimes a bit weird or redundant or just plain bad.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
